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When I was younger, I was exposed to sexual content at a very early age, which I worry may have influenced my behavior. There was an incident with my younger brother where I tried to touch him. He said no, and I stopped, but I continued kissing him on the mouth. I'm tormented by feelings of guilt and fear that I've caused harm. Am I an abuser? Should I seek help or talk to someone about this? When I was younger, I was exposed to sexual content at a very early age, which I worry may have influenced my behavior. There was an incident with my younger brother where I tried to touch him. He said no, and I stopped, but I continued kissing him on the mouth. I'm tormented by feelings of guilt and fear of having caused harm. Am I an abuser? Should I seek help or talk to someone about this?

Dr. Laura

Answer by Dr. Laura

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Thank you for trusting us with your story. First, I want to acknowledge the courage it takes to confront these difficult memories and the guilt you've been carrying. The fact that you care so much about your brother's well-being and question your past actions demonstrates empathy and moral conscience, qualities not often present in people with abusive intentions.

What you describe reflects a complex situation where your own early exposure to adult sexual content may have influenced behaviors you didn't fully understand at the time. When children are exposed to sexual material at such young ages, it can create confusion about appropriate boundaries and normal behaviors. It's important to understand that children often recreate or explore what they've seen without fully understanding the implications.

The most significant element in your story is that when your brother expressed that he didn't want something, you stopped the behavior he rejected. This suggests that even at that age, you had some level of respect for his boundaries, even though you continued with other behaviors that were also inappropriate.

The guilt and anxiety you describe are normal responses when we reflect on past actions we recognize as problematic. However, living in a constant state of self-punishment doesn't help you or your brother. What matters now is how you process this experience and how you move forward in a healthy way.

Seeking professional support would be extremely beneficial for you. A therapist specializing in trauma and sexual behavior can help you process both your own early exposure to sexual content and your feelings about the incident with your brother. They can also help you develop healthy strategies for managing guilt and ensuring appropriate behaviors in the future.

Regarding whether you should talk to someone about this, a mental health professional can guide you on the best way to approach the situation, including whether and how it might be appropriate to address the topic with your family, depending on the specific circumstances. Thank you again for reaching out to us. You are not alone.


Thank you for trusting us with your story. First, I want to acknowledge the courage it takes to confront these difficult memories and the guilt you've been carrying. The fact that you're so concerned about your brother's well-being and questioning your past actions demonstrates empathy and moral awareness—qualities that aren't typically present in people with abusive intentions.

What you describe reflects a complex situation where your own early exposure to adult sexual content may have influenced behaviors you didn't fully understand at the time. When children are exposed to sexual material at such young ages, it can create confusion about appropriate boundaries and normal behaviors. It's important to understand that children often recreate or explore what they've seen without fully understanding the implications.

The most significant element in your account is that when your brother expressed he didn't want something, you stopped the behavior he rejected. This suggests that even at that age, you had some level of respect for your boundaries, although you continued with other behaviors that were also inappropriate.

The guilt and anxiety you describe are normal responses when we reflect on past actions we recognize as problematic. However, living in a constant state of self-punishment doesn't help you or your brother. What matters now is how you process this experience and move forward in healthy ways.

Seeking professional support would be extremely beneficial for you. A therapist who specializes in trauma and sexual behavior can help you process both your own early exposure to sexual content and your feelings about the incident with your brother. They can also help you develop healthy strategies for managing guilt and ensuring appropriate behaviors going forward.

Regarding whether you should talk to someone about this, a mental health professional can guide you on the best way to approach the situation, including whether and how it might be appropriate to address the matter with your family, depending on the specific circumstances. Thank you again for reaching out to us. You are not alone.

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Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1. Where am I?

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4. What is the current month?

5. What is the current year?

6. How old am I?

7. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.