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Answer by Dr. Laura
PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner
Thank you for asking this question! Especially during COVID, sexting coercion is something that many people can experience now that we are limiting our in-person exposure to others. The access we have to other people through the avenue of technology comes with both opportunities and threats. We have various experiences online, from connecting with new people to catching up with old friends. Technology has infiltrated every aspect of our culture, including sexual violence.
Coercion is when a person is forced to do something they would not normally choose to do because threats are made against their safety or well-being. Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or images through the internet or one’s phone. Sexting Coercion is when someone, from an intimate partner to a stranger, pressures or manipulates another person to participate in sexting.
Sexting coercion could not only jeopardize one's physical safety, but one's emotional safety as well. As compared to other forms of dating aggression, researchers have noted the unique potential of sexting coercion, especially when it prompts unwanted sexting, to produce future psychological trauma due to concerns about the recipient sharing the images.
While sexting can be consensual and a form of intimacy for some, it can also be harmful and traumatic for others. Just because a sexually explicit photo or message was sent does not automatically mean that the sender wanted to share it. In a study, it was found that sexting coercion was related to both physical sex coercion and intimate partner violence, which suggests that sexting coercion may be a form of intimate partner violence, providing perpetrators with a new, digital route for physical and sexual victimization. Experiencing sexual violence can lead to sexting coercion and vice versa.
Sexting coercion can be a form of control or manipulation for an abuser. Being pressured or persuaded to send something you don't want to send is not okay. Brushing off instances where a person coerced another person to do something they were uncomfortable with is not okay. As technology continues to advance, we need to fight for online safety and acknowledge that conversations around what is consensual over the internet are important.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.