A friend touched my inner thigh without permission while we were in a hot tub together. I pushed them away and laughed it off, but it made me uncomfortable. I'm wondering whether this would be considered assault or harassment.

Thank you for sharing this with us. What you described is a significant boundary violation where your friend attempted to touch you in an intimate area without your consent, which is not okay. Consent is essential in all interactions, and everyone has the right to have their personal space and boundaries respected.

When someone touches intimate parts of your body without your consent, it crosses important boundaries regardless of the setting or your relationship with that person. Even though you were able to push them away before they went further, the fact that they initiated unwanted physical contact is significant. The fact that you instinctively pushed them away shows that your body recognized this as unwanted contact.

Laughing it off is a very common reaction when we feel uncomfortable or unsure how to respond, but it doesn't diminish how the situation made you feel or minimize what happened. It's very common for people to laugh off uncomfortable situations in the moment, especially when they involve someone we know and trust. Laughing, freezing, or trying to lighten the mood are natural protective responses that many people have when their boundaries are crossed unexpectedly. Your brain was likely trying to process a confusing situation involving someone you considered safe.

Whether this is classified as assault or harassment can depend on legal definitions in different places, but the distinction often depends on specific legal definitions that vary by location. What matters most is not the label but rather acknowledging that your boundaries were violated. Unwanted touching of intimate areas like your inner thigh typically falls under sexual assault in many jurisdictions, as it involves non-consensual sexual contact. However, the most important thing to understand is that your experience was significant and your reaction was completely normal.

You have every right to feel however you feel about this experience. Some people might feel angry, confused, betrayed, or uncertain about what happened. Others might minimize it or question whether it was "serious enough" to matter. All of these responses are normal. What happened to you matters because it mattered to you, and because everyone deserves to have their physical boundaries respected. You deserve to feel safe and respected in all your relationships.

It might be helpful to talk to someone you trust about what happened, whether it's a family member, another friend, or a professional who can provide support. Moving forward, you might consider setting clear boundaries with this friend if you choose to maintain the relationship, or you might decide you need distance. Trust your instincts about what feels right for you. Remember, you're not alone, and it's okay to set boundaries with anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable, even if they're a friend.