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Why can people who experience sexual harm experience hypersexuality after these experiences?
Answer by Dr. Laura
PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner
After experiencing sexual harm, some individuals may find themselves experiencing hypersexuality, a heightened interest or engagement in sexual activities. This response can be multifaceted, often stemming from complex psychological and emotional reactions to the trauma endured. In some cases, hypersexuality may serve as a coping mechanism, offering a temporary sense of control or empowerment in the aftermath of a traumatic experience. It's crucial to recognize that this reaction is not uncommon and does not invalidate the survivor's traumatic experience or diminish their worth.
Hypersexuality after sexual harm can also be influenced by physiological responses and neurobiological factors. Traumatic experiences can disrupt the brain's regulation of emotions and arousal, potentially leading to dysregulation in sexual response. Additionally, individuals may experience an increased need for validation or intimacy as they navigate feelings of shame, guilt, or self-blame associated with the trauma. These dynamics can contribute to a heightened interest in sexual behavior as survivors grapple with their emotional and psychological well-being.
If you are experiencing hypersexuality after sexual harm, recognizing it is an important first step. There is nothing to be ashamed of....you deserve to experience any degree of sexual activity you want to after experiencing trauma. If you are finding that your sexual activities are causing you distress, however, if may be time to seek help from a professional. Seeking assistance from trauma-informed professionals, such as therapists or counselors, can provide a safe space to explore and address these complex feelings. By engaging in healing-centered practices and accessing appropriate resources, you can work towards understanding and managing your responses to trauma in a way that feels good for you and promotes your overall well-being and recovery journey. You deserve healthy and fufilling sexual experiences. Finding the right balance is possible.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.