When I was younger, a substitute teacher in my theater class took me into the hallway to work on projection for my narrator role. I don't remember much except him getting really close to me and making me very uncomfortable. I don't know if he touched me, but I remember going back to my friends feeling very freaked out and scared. I completely forgot about this until recently, and I'm struggling to make sense of it while not knowing everything that happened. I don't know how to feel about the situation or how to go about processing it.

Thank you for trusting us with this. What you're experiencing is incredibly common among people who have experienced harm, and I want you to know that your confusion and distress are completely valid. It sounds like this memory caught you by surprise, especially since it resurfaced after so many years. It is common for certain details or entire experiences to stay hidden in our minds until something in our adult life brings them back. The fact that you felt scared and freaked out in that moment tells you something important. It sounds like your body and instincts recognized that something was wrong, even if you can't remember all the details now.

Memory gaps around uncomfortable or frightening experiences are actually a normal part of how our brains protect us from overwhelming situations. When something distressing happens, our minds sometimes file away only fragments (e.g. sensations, feelings, or snapshots) rather than a complete narrative. Not remembering everything can feel frustrating or unsettling, yet it does not diminish how uncomfortable and frightened you felt. Your body and emotions recognized that something in that moment was wrong or alarming, and those feelings alone are important. This doesn't mean your experience wasn't significant or that your feelings about it aren't real. The fear you felt then and the discomfort you're experiencing now are valid regardless of whether you can recall every detail. There is no right or wrong way to feel about what happened or what you recall.

Many people find that healing can involve giving themselves permission to explore the emotions they do have, rather than forcing every memory to return in perfect order. You may never have a complete picture of that day, and that is okay. Healing doesn't require a complete picture of what happened. It often requires honoring what you do know and how you felt. If you find that thinking about this moment is causing you distress, it might help to confide in someone supportive who understands or seek professional guidance from someone able to talk through these mixed emotions with empathy and understanding.

Some people find it helpful to talk with a therapist who specializes in trauma, as they can provide tools for processing fragmented memories and managing the feelings that come with them. Others find healing through journaling, creative expression, or simply acknowledging that something happened that made them feel unsafe. Sharing your feelings, at your own pace, can often bring more clarity or at least more peace around the lingering questions.

Above all, trust that your response back then and the instinctive ways you went about creating safety. You get to decide how you want to move forward with this, and you're allowed to take your time figuring out what feels right for you. What matters most is that you're listening to yourself and taking your experience seriously, because it deserves to be taken seriously. Thank you for trusting us with this. We are here for you.