When I was young, I had unrestricted internet access and came across animated pornography of cartoon characters. At school, I would discuss this with a classmate of the same age who also seemed to have come across videos like this. I don't remember us using explicit language when discussing it, just asking if we saw this video with this character in it, and laughing about it sometimes. I don't really know why we laughed about it. We never showed each other videos, nor did we do anything else that could be considered inappropriate, but I still feel a bit guilty about talking about these things with my classmate, even if the conversation was mutual. Am I right to feel guilty about this?

Thank you for sharing this memory and your feelings about it. It's completely understandable to look back on childhood experiences and feel uncertain or even guilty about them as you gain more perspective with age.

When you were young, having unrestricted internet access could expose you to content that you weren't developmentally ready to understand. Coming across animated pornography can be confusing and overwhelming for a child. Discussing it with a classmate of the same age, especially in a way that involved laughter, was likely a way for both of you to process and make sense of something unfamiliar and perhaps bewildering.

It's important to understand that sexual curiosity is a normal and natural part of childhood development. While talking about sex may be considered taboo in many cultures and families, this doesn't change the fact that children naturally have questions and curiosity about bodies, relationships, and sexuality. Without appropriate guidance and age-appropriate information, children often seek answers wherever they can find them, including from peers or online sources.

Children often use humor and shared experiences to cope with things they don't fully understand. At that age, you didn't have the knowledge or emotional tools to navigate or contextualize what you had seen. The laughter you mentioned is a common reaction to discomfort or things that feel taboo or unexpected - it doesn't mean you found the content itself amusing.

The guilt you feel now likely comes from applying your current adult understanding and values to a situation that happened when you were much younger and had a different level of comprehension. It's important to recognize that you weren't intentionally seeking out this content, you didn't share it with others, and your conversations appear to have been mutual attempts to understand something confusing.

Many adults look back on childhood experiences with new perspective and feel uncomfortable about things they didn't question at the time. This retrospective discomfort can actually be a sign of healthy development - it shows you've developed more sophisticated understanding of boundaries and appropriate content.

If these feelings continue to trouble you, consider that self-compassion is vital. You were a child navigating a complex world with limited supervision, and you didn't have the tools or understanding you have now. Forgiving your younger self for not having your current knowledge and perspective is an important part of processing these memories in a healthy way. Remember, reflecting on our past with kindness and understanding toward our younger selves can be a healing experience. Thank you for asking this.