When I was seven, a classmate led me to a hidden area of the playground and pressured me to perform oral sex. When I initially refused, he told me 'this is what people who like each other do,' and I gave in because we had just become friends. Now I experience trauma responses including flashbacks, but I question whether I can call this abuse since he used persuasion rather than force or threats. Even though the impact feels similar to abuse, I'm unsure if I belong in survivor spaces or have the right to claim that label. How can I understand this experience and find appropriate support?

Thank you so much for trusting us with the details of this experience. What you described involved several concerning elements: being led to a hidden location, having your initial "no" dismissed, and being manipulated through friendship and false information about what people who "like each other" do. Your age meant you couldn't truly understand or consent to such acts, and the use of manipulation rather than physical force doesn't make the experience any less valid or impactful.

It's important to understand that when young children engage in sexual behaviors that are beyond age-appropriate exploration or curiosity, it often indicates that at least one of the children has been exposed to sexual content or experiences they shouldn't have been. Your classmate, at age seven, was demonstrating knowledge of adult sexual acts that a child typically wouldn't have unless they learned it somewhere. This context helps explain, but doesn't excuse, what happened.

The trauma responses you're experiencing - including flashbacks - are your body and mind's way of processing an encounter that was beyond your emotional and developmental capacity to handle at that age. These responses are valid regardless of how the experience happened.

Many survivor spaces recognize that childhood sexual experiences can be traumatic even when they involve another child and even when force isn't used. The impact on you - how it has affected your life and well-being - is what matters most. You absolutely belong in survivor spaces if you choose to seek support there. There is no hierarchy of trauma - if you're experiencing trauma responses and feeling the impact of what happened, that makes your needs and experiences just as valid as anyone else's. You deserve to be welcomed, heard, and supported in these spaces.

Survivor communities exist precisely because healing happens best when we can connect with others who understand our experiences. Your hesitation about claiming this space is something many survivors share - but please know that you don't need to prove your trauma or justify your presence. If you identify with the term "survivor" and find it helpful in your healing journey, that label is yours to claim.

If you're interested in seeking support, you might consider working with a counselor who specializes in childhood experiences. They can help you process this in whatever way feels right for you, without needing to fit your experience into any particular label. Many survivor support groups also welcome anyone who has experienced unwanted or traumatic sexual experiences, regardless of the specific circumstances.

Remember that your feelings and responses are valid, you deserve support in healing, and you have every right to claim space in survivor communities. Your story matters, and your healing matters. Thank you for reaching out to us. We are happy you are here.