When I was around 14, I had consensual experiences with friends that involved dry humping while fully clothed. During one instance, when a friend initially declined to experiment, I made a comment out of embarrassment saying "all the popular people do it." We did experiment at a later date, and our friendship has continued into adulthood. As an adult, I asked her if she had ever felt pressured by me, and she said no and laughed it off. My therapist, who has a complex understanding of my history and emotional development at that time, does not believe I pressured or abused anyone. However, my OCD convinces me otherwise. Have I pressured or abused somebody?

I hear how much distress you're carrying about this, and I want to start by saying that I appreciate your willingness to reflect on your past interactions. What you're describing, however, sounds like a situation where OCD is causing you to catastrophize a moment of adolescent awkwardness into something far more serious than what actually occurred.

From what you've shared, you were 14 years old and your comment about "popular people" sounds like exactly what it was: an awkward, immature attempt to navigate social discomfort when you felt embarrassed. Adolescents say clumsy things all the time, especially in vulnerable moments, and that doesn't transform typical teenage behavior into abuse. The fact that your friend declined initially, that you didn't push further in that moment, that she later chose to engage with you, and that she's maintained a positive relationship with you into adulthood all point toward mutual, age-appropriate experimentation rather than coercion.

Your therapist, who knows your full history and developmental context, has told you this wasn't abusive. Your friend, who was actually there and experienced the interaction firsthand, has told you she never felt pressured. OCD specializes in taking ambiguous situations and turning them into catastrophic certainties, and it sounds like that's exactly what's happening here. 

Pressure and abuse involve persistent coercion, intentional manipulation of power imbalances, or disregarding someone's stated boundaries. The evidence, both from the people involved and from professionals who understand trauma, consistently points toward this being typical adolescent exploration, not abuse. You deserve to trust the people who were there and the professionals who understand your situation, rather than the part of your mind that's trying to convince you of something that didn't happen. Be gentle with yourself.