When I was 5 and my sister was 3, we would play "knight and princess" and act out scenes from movies and stories, including romantic scenes between characters that involved kissing. This happened several times until my sister told our parents, who responded very strongly and it immediately stopped. My sister and I have a close and healthy relationship now as adults, but I feel deeply troubled looking back on this childhood behavior. I'm trying to understand if this would be considered problematic sexual behavior between siblings (COCSA) given our young ages at the time.

Thank you for sharing this experience with us. Reflecting on childhood experiences can be challenging, especially when they involve feelings of guilt or confusion. It's important to remember that at the ages of five and three, both you and your sister were very young and still learning about the world around you. Children often engage in imaginative play and mimic behaviors they observe without fully understanding their implications.

Playing games like "Knight and Princess" and acting out scenes from movies is a common way for children to explore relationships and roles they see in stories. The kisses you shared were likely a part of this innocent mimicry, without any intention of harm or inappropriate behavior. At such a young age, children don't have the same understanding of boundaries, consent, or the nuances of certain actions as they do when they grow older.

The fact that your sister felt comfortable telling you "no" and approaching your parents indicates that she recognized her own comfort levels, and it's positive that the behavior stopped immediately afterward. It's also encouraging to hear that you and your sister have a close relationship now. This suggests that any discomfort she may have felt at the time has been healed, and your bond has grown stronger.

Feeling horrible about these past actions is a natural response, especially as you gain a more mature understanding of personal boundaries and consent. However, it's important to be gentle with your younger self. You were a child acting without full knowledge or intent, and it's clear that you didn't mean any harm.

If these feelings continue to trouble you, it might be helpful to speak with a mental health professional who can provide support and guidance as you process these emotions. They can offer reassurance and help you find peace with this aspect of your past.

Remember, we all have moments in our childhood that we look back on with confusion or regret. What's important is acknowledging how we've grown and using that understanding to foster healthy, respectful relationships moving forward. Be kind to yourself, and take comfort in the strong relationship you share with your sister today. Thank you so much for reaching out to us. You are not alone.