Question

I've suddenly developed an unexplained fear that a specific person might hurt me. They've never shown any concerning behavior and are actually very nice - someone I enjoy talking to. I feel guilty about these feelings since they seem unfounded. Since I can't avoid them, how do I handle these fears?

Answer

This is a really interesting question. Without knowing the exact situation you are facing, or the person who is causing you fear, I will do my best to answer it.

Sudden, intense fear of a specific person - even someone we like and trust - can be our body's way of trying to protect us, even if we don't consciously understand why. Sometimes these feelings emerge as a trauma response, where our nervous system recognizes something (a gesture, tone, situation) that reminds it of past harm, even if the current person isn't dangerous.

Your feelings aren't wrong or bad, even if they seem illogical. Our intuition can be a powerful tool for recognizing danger, but it's also important to examine these feelings carefully, especially when they seem to conflict with observable reality. Sometimes our gut reactions are picking up on subtle warning signs we haven't consciously processed yet. Other times, these reactions might be our nervous system making connections to past experiences that don't apply to our current situation. Both possibilities deserve our attention and respect.

You might find it helpful to notice what helps you feel safer when interacting with this person, practice grounding techniques when the fear arises, and remind yourself that having fear doesn't mean you're in danger. The goal isn't to dismiss your feelings but to understand them better so you can make informed choices about how to respond to them.

Trust yourself to find the balance between acknowledging these feelings and not letting them completely control your interactions. Your body's signals deserve attention and investigation - not dismissal or shame, but also not immediate acceptance as truth. 

Thank you for reaching out. We appreciate you.