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Answer by Dr. Laura
PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner
Thank you for this thoughtful question on a complex and sensitive topic. Let's start by clarifying what child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) means. COCSA involves a minor engaging in sexually abusive behavior towards another minor. The legal definition varies by jurisdiction, but it generally involves any non-consensual sexual activity between minors where one child uses force, coercion, or manipulation against another child. The term COCSA recognizes that one child has perpetrated sexual harm against another child.
The complexity of causes behind why a child might perpetrate sexual harm to another child is why we sometimes discuss experiences of victimhood when referring to both parties. Often, those who cause harm have experienced early sexualization or are replicating their own childhood sexual trauma. However, it's crucial to note that not all children who perpetrate COCSA have experienced sexual harm themselves. There can be various other factors involved, such as exposure to inappropriate sexual content, lack of understanding about boundaries, or other complex psychological or environmental factors.
Understanding these underlying factors is crucial in developing effective interventions and potentially decreasing recidivism. This approach allows for more targeted treatment, addressing the specific causes of the harmful behavior. It can help break potential cycles of abuse by addressing trauma and teaching healthy coping mechanisms where applicable. Also, it promotes a more holistic understanding of the issue, which can lead to better prevention strategies and encourage earlier intervention when risk factors are identified.
However, it's essential to strike a balance. While understanding the causes of harmful behavior is important, we must never minimize the impact on victims. The harm caused by COCSA is real and can have long-lasting effects. Victims need and deserve support, validation, and appropriate interventions. The primary focus should always be on providing appropriate support and ensuring the safety and well-being of those who have been harmed.
Regarding terminology, some professionals use phrases like "sexually harmful behavior in children" or "problematic sexual behavior in youth" to describe these situations. Other terms include "youth-perpetrated sexual harm" or "juvenile sexually abusive behavior." These terms recognize the seriousness of the behavior while also acknowledging that the child exhibiting it may need help.
Each situation is unique and requires careful assessment by trained professionals. The focus should always be on providing appropriate support and intervention for all children involved, while prioritizing the safety and well-being of victims.
Scholarship on this particular type of harm is emerging. If you're continuing to struggle with these concepts, speaking with a professional who specializes in childhood sexual abuse could be helpful. They can provide more detailed insights and help process the complex emotions that often arise when studying this topic.
Thank you so much for asking this question. We appreciate you.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.