Is my experience valid? My best friend pressured me into sex when we were both teens. She would threaten to run away and harm herself if I didn't comply. When I went to the police, they told me they couldn't do anything and to get over it.

Thank you for trusting us with this and I am so sorry you experienced such painful responses to the harm you experienced. You did not deserve that. Your experience is absolutely valid. What you're describing sounds like a form of sexual coercion, and it can be deeply traumatic regardless of the gender of the person who harmed you or your ages at the time. The fact that the police dismissed your experience doesn't make it any less real or harmful. Their response was inadequate and wrong, and I'm truly sorry that happened to you when you were seeking help and validation.

When someone uses threats of self-harm to pressure another person into sexual activity, they are manipulating that person's care and concern to override their consent. This creates an impossible situation where you felt responsible for someone else's safety and wellbeing, which is an enormous burden to carry, especially as a young person. That kind of pressure removes genuine choice from the equation. You were placed in a position where you felt you had no option but to comply, and that is coercion.

It's important to know that sexual harm between young people is real and can have lasting impacts. The trauma you experienced doesn't disappear because the person who harmed you was the same age as you or because she was your friend. Betrayal by someone you trusted, especially during formative teenage years, can be particularly painful and confusing. Many survivors of peer-on-peer sexual violence struggle with having their experiences validated because there are misconceptions about what assault looks like and who can cause harm.

Sexual violence can happen between people of any gender, but there are particularly harmful myths that minimize or dismiss harm when it occurs between women or girls, or when the person who caused harm is female. These myths suggest that women can't be sexually harmful or that same-gender experiences are somehow less serious. These beliefs are false and deeply damaging to survivors. Sexual coercion is about power, control, and the violation of consent. Those dynamics exist regardless of gender. You experienced real harm, and the gender of the person who hurt you doesn't make that harm any less significant or deserving of recognition.

The response you received from the police added another layer of harm. Being told to "get over it" is a form of institutional betrayal that can compound trauma, and it's possible that gender assumptions played a role in how dismissively they treated your report. You deserved to be believed, supported, and treated with dignity. The fact that they didn't respond appropriately says everything about failures in the system and nothing about the validity of your experience.

Your feelings about what happened, whatever they are, deserve space and acknowledgment. Healing from coercion and betrayal takes time, and there's no right way to process what you've been through. If you're able to access support through a counselor who specializes in sexual trauma or through survivor support services, that might help you work through these experiences at your own pace. You deserved better then, and you deserve support and compassion now. Thank you for trusting us with this.