Question

Is it still child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) or sexual assault if the offender feels bad for it and feels guilty?

Answer

Thank you for bringing up this important question. To answer your question simply: Yes, it is still considered COCSA or sexual assault even if the offender feels bad for their actions and feels guilty afterward. The feelings of the person who committed the harmful act do not change the nature of what happened or its impact on the person who was harmed.

Sexual abuse and assault are defined by actions that violate someone's boundaries and consent, regardless of the offender's intentions or subsequent emotions. While an offender's guilt may indicate that they recognize their behavior was wrong, it doesn't erase the harm caused or alter the fact that the behavior was abusive.

It's important to focus on the impact of the actions on the survivor. The survivor's feelings, experiences, and healing process are valid and deserve attention and support, irrespective of how the offender feels afterward. Healing from such experiences can be challenging, and acknowledging the reality of what happened is a crucial step toward recovery.

If the offender feels guilty, it may be a sign that they recognize the need to change their behavior and seek help. In cases involving children, it's possible that the child who caused harm may not have fully understood the seriousness of their actions at the time, and might benefit from professional guidance to prevent future harm.

However, the primary concern should always be the well-being of the person who was harmed. Their needs come first, and they deserve compassionate support. It's essential to remember that the responsibility for the abuse lies solely with the person who caused harm, regardless of any feelings of guilt or remorse they may have.

If you or someone you know has experienced COCSA or sexual assault, it might be helpful to reach out to a trusted adult, counselor, or professional who can provide support and guidance. Healing is possible, and you don't have to navigate this journey alone. Thank you for asking this question. We appreciate it.