In 7th grade, my friend rubbed my thigh during class. It was a disturbing experience, and when I asked him to stop, he wouldn't. He was my first friend that I made, and I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable so I let him until I felt physically sick, when I stood up from my chair and stepped away. Afterward, he falsely suggested I had been assaulted by a family member and seemed to be trying to convince me this had happened. I started distancing myself after this. Was what he did considered assault since he only touched my outer thigh?

It's completely understandable that you're feeling uncertain about how to label what happened to you in seventh grade. What you experienced was clearly distressing, and your feelings about it are valid. When someone touches you in a way that makes you uncomfortable and ignores your request to stop, that is a violation of your personal boundaries. It doesn't matter whether the touch was on your outer thigh, inner thigh, or any other part of your body—the key issue is that you did not give your consent, and your wishes were disregarded.

Unwanted touching that continues after you've asked someone to stop can be considered a form of sexual harassment or assault. Consent is crucial in all interactions, and you had every right to have your boundaries respected. The fact that you felt physically sick and had to remove yourself from the situation highlights the significant impact his actions had on you.

His behavior afterward is also concerning. By suggesting that you had been assaulted by a family member and trying to convince you of something that didn't happen, he was attempting to shift the focus away from his own inappropriate actions. This kind of manipulation can be confusing and further violates your trust.

Many survivors question whether their experiences "count" because they compare them to what they perceive as "worse" violations. This kind of comparison is common but can minimize your own valid feelings. Your discomfort and decision to distance yourself from him were appropriate responses to an uncomfortable and disrespectful situation.

It's completely normal to feel confused about these experiences, especially when they involve someone you considered a friend. Many people struggle with setting boundaries with friends because they worry about making others uncomfortable, even when they themselves are the ones being made uncomfortable. Trust your feelings—they are important signals about your experiences and how they affect you.

If you're still feeling unsure or distressed about what happened, it might be helpful to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor who can provide support and guidance. Thank you for trusting us with this. We appreciate you.