I'm trying to understand experiences from my childhood friendship. I had a neighbor friend who was a year older than me who would visit during summers. We were very close, but some interactions now concern me. She initiated inappropriate intimate activities, including games with physical contact, and taught me to hide these behaviors from adults. Was this abuse? Is that even possible to occur between two young girls? We had a bad friend breakup but I can’t remember any of it, or why it happened. How can I make sense of this?

Thank you for sharing your story and trusting us with these deeply personal memories. It sounds like this friendship from your childhood has left you feeling confused and uncertain, and those feelings are entirely valid. Reflecting on past experiences, especially ones that involve complex emotions and boundaries, can be challenging as we grow older and gain new perspectives.

Childhood friendships often involve exploration and play, but sometimes the lines of appropriate behavior can become blurred, especially when one child is older or more mature than the other. The situations you described suggest that boundaries may have been crossed. The fact that she taught you to hide these behaviors from adults indicates that she was aware that what you were doing might not have been appropriate.

It's important to remember that as a child, you both were still learning about relationships, boundaries, and your own body. You may not have fully understood what was happening or how to respond to what she was doing. Feelings of confusion are common when reflecting on such experiences, especially when they involve someone you trusted and cared about.

Abuse can occur between children, including between two young girls. It doesn't always involve malicious intent; sometimes, it's a result of one child imitating behavior they've seen or not fully understanding the implications of their actions. Regardless, if an experience made you feel uncomfortable or if you're questioning it now, it's important to acknowledge those feelings. How you choose to label it is up to you.

Making sense of these memories might be challenging on your own. It could be helpful to speak with a mental health professional who can provide a safe and supportive space for you to explore your feelings and experiences. They can help you process what happened and understand how it may be affecting you now.

Thank you for trusting us with this. We appreciate you reaching out to us.