I'm trying to process childhood experiences with my cousin. We're the same age and grew up very close. When we were around 6-10 years old, we engaged in a game involving clothed body-rubbing, with no touching of private areas. I remember initiating this sometimes out of childhood curiosity, but as we got older, my cousin showed discomfort. Once when she said no, I asked again, but she maintained her boundary and I respected it. My memories of other instances and our exact ages are unclear. We have a healthy relationship now, but I worry I might have made her uncomfortable back then or that she only went along with it for me. I want to address this but am concerned that bringing it up might be distressing for her. Was my childhood behavior harmful?

We really appreciate you trusting us with this. Reflecting on childhood experiences can be challenging, especially when we're concerned about how our actions may have affected others.

What you described sounds like typical childhood curiosity and exploration. Children around the ages of 6 to 10 are still learning about boundaries, personal space, and appropriate behavior. It's common for kids to engage in playful activities without fully understanding the implications or how others might feel.

From your account, it seems that there was no intent to harm, and you didn't force or coerce your cousin into participating. You mentioned that when she said "no," you respected her decision, which shows an awareness of her feelings even at a young age. It's natural to look back and worry about whether you made someone uncomfortable, but it's important to remember that as children, we're still learning and developing our understanding of relationships and consent.

Feeling concern now indicates that you're thoughtful and care about your cousin's well-being. If this is weighing heavily on your mind, it might help to have a gentle conversation with your cousin. You could express that you've been reflecting on your childhood and want to ensure that she's comfortable with everything that happened back then. However, consider that bringing it up might also surprise her or bring back memories she hasn't thought about in a long time.

Another option is to speak with a professional counselor or therapist about your feelings. They can provide guidance on how to process these memories and decide the best course of action. They can also help you work through any lingering guilt or anxiety you might be experiencing.

Remember, you were both children navigating the world and learning about relationships. Being kind to yourself is important. Thank you for reaching out to us. We appreciate you.