I'm trying to process childhood experiences that happened when I was 6 or 7 years old. Multiple peers, including friends, classmates, and family members my age, engaged in inappropriate interactions with me. It happened frequently enough that I began to think it was normal. I never told anyone because I feared getting in trouble, not being believed, or not being taken seriously. I've never shared these experiences with anyone before. Could this be child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA)?

Thank you for reaching out to us. First, I want to acknowledge what a privilege it is to be the first person you've chosen to share these experiences with. Breaking a silence that has lasted so many years takes remarkable strength, and I want to honor that.

When children experience repeated unwanted or inappropriate sexual interactions from peers, it can indeed feel confusing and start to seem "normal," even when it doesn't feel right. This normalization is actually a common coping mechanism - our young minds try to make sense of experiences that are beyond our developmental understanding. Your fear of getting in trouble or not being believed was a valid response, especially as a young child trying to navigate complex situations.

The patterns you're describing and the experiences beginning at such a young age align with what many professionals would consider problematic or harmful sexual behavior between children (which is sometimes known as COCSA). At age 6 or 7, children cannot truly consent to sexual interactions, even with other children of the same age. When such interactions occur repeatedly and involve feelings of powerlessness or fear of speaking up, this often indicates that the experiences were indeed abusive, even if the other children may not have fully understood the impact of their actions.

Your feelings about these experiences, whatever they may be, are valid. Some people find that early experiences like these impact their sense of safety, trust, or boundaries. Others might notice effects on their relationships or self-image. There's no "right" way to feel about or process these experiences.

Breaking the silence, even anonymously, is often the first step in healing. If you're ready, speaking with a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in childhood experiences could help you process these memories and their impact in a safe, supportive environment. They can help you understand these experiences within their proper context while respecting your need to define them in your own way.

Remember, whatever you felt then and feel now is valid. You're not alone in these experiences, and it wasn't your fault. Support is available whenever you feel ready to take that step. Thank you again for trusting us with this. You are not alone.