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I'm experiencing severe flashbacks that make it difficult to even shower without feeling like others are touching me. I feel afraid around men and my sister, and I'm constantly worried about being objectified. The stress has led me to relapse into self-harm after being clean for about a year. Do you have any advice to help me feel better? I need someone to tell me it's going to be okay.

Answer written by a PhD Prepared Mental Health Nurse

Thank you so much for trusting us with your inner most thoughts and feelings. What you are going through right now matters deeply, and the pain you're experiencing is real. The flashbacks during showers, the fear around others, and feeling objectified are all common responses to trauma - your body and mind trying to protect you, even when it hurts.

Please hear this clearly: Your relapse doesn't erase a single moment of that year you were self-harm free. That strength is still within you. Recovery has ebbs and flows, and setbacks don't define you or predict your future. They're just difficult moments on a longer journey toward healing.

It is going to be okay. I say this not as an empty promise, but because countless survivors have walked similar paths and found their way to calmer waters, even when it seemed impossible. Your trauma responses can be eased with the right support and tools.

When flashbacks come, try gently bringing yourself back to the present by noticing five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. Some survivors find comfort in changing shower routines - perhaps using a favorite scent, adjusting water temperature, or playing music that anchors you to the present moment.

The boundaries you need with your sister right now are valid and important. Creating safe space for yourself isn't selfish - it's necessary for healing.

Consider connecting with a trauma specialist who understands the specific ways trauma affects our bodies and minds. Approaches like EMDR, somatic experiencing, or trauma-focused CBT can be particularly helpful for easing flashbacks and rebuilding safety. Many rape crisis centers offer these services at reduced cost or free or can recommend private practicioners external of their organization.

In the moments when everything feels overwhelming, remember that healing happens in small steps. Each time you show yourself compassion instead of judgment, each gentle moment you create for yourself, you're rebuilding your relationship with your body and your world.

You reached out because something in you knows healing is possible. That part of you is right. With support, patience, and care, the flashbacks can ease, the fear can lessen, and you can reclaim spaces that feel safe again. You're not alone in this journey. Thank you for trusting us. 

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