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Answer by Dr. Laura
PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner
Thank you for sharing this experience with us. It takes courage to talk about such difficult and confusing thoughts. Your feelings are valid, and it's understandable to feel distressed by these vivid mental images. What you're describing sounds like intrusive thoughts or intrusive imagery, which are common experiences for many people, especially those who have experienced trauma or anxiety. These are involuntary thoughts or mental images that can feel extremely real and disturbing, even when we know they aren't based on actual events.
It's important to remember that having these thoughts doesn't reflect negatively on you as a person. Our minds sometimes create these scenarios as a way of processing emotions or trying to make sense of fears, even if the specific scenarios never occurred. There are several strategies that might help you manage these experiences. Practicing self-compassion is crucial - remind yourself that these thoughts aren't your fault and don't define you. When these thoughts occur, try using grounding techniques to help reconnect with the present moment. This could include focusing on your breath, naming objects you can see, or holding something with a distinct texture. It can also be helpful to acknowledge the thoughts without judgment, gently reminding yourself that they are just thoughts, not reality.
Engaging in self-care activities that help you feel safe and calm can also be beneficial. Additionally, consider talking to a trauma-informed therapist who can provide personalized strategies and support. They can help you process these experiences and develop coping mechanisms tailored to your needs.
Remember, you're not alone in experiencing this. Many people have similar struggles. If these thoughts are significantly impacting your daily life, seeking professional support could be very beneficial. A mental health professional experienced in trauma can offer guidance and help you work through these challenging experiences at your own pace. Take care of yourself, and remember that healing is a journey. It's okay to take it one step at a time. Thank you for reaching out to us. You ar not alone.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.