I was inappropriately touched at age 6 by a classmate who repeatedly put his hand in my skirt despite me telling him to stop. He only stopped when he left the school. I barely remember details but feel physically sick recalling his lunchbox. People told me "he must have liked me." I think because of it I've been repulsed by physical contact with other people and very picky when it comes to others, especially boys/men. Now I'm confused - we were both children, but I never consented. Was this coercion? Was it wrong?

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It sounds like what you experienced was unwanted and inappropriate touching that violated your boundaries, regardless of the age of the other child. When you were six, you were navigating a new school and coping with your parents working abroad, which are significant changes for a child. The boy's actions—opening your skirt's zipper and touching you without your consent—were not okay. You told him to stop multiple times, and he disregarded your feelings and continued his behavior. This wasn't just playful or a sign that he "liked you"; it was a violation of your personal boundaries.

Your body remembers this violation even if your mind has gaps in the memory, which is a completely normal trauma response. The nausea you feel when remembering certain details is a natural reaction to an experience where your boundaries were repeatedly crossed despite your clear communication to stop. Many survivors develop protective mechanisms around touch and intimacy following experiences like yours. These are not weaknesses but ways your body and mind have tried to keep you safe.

Children can and do engage in harmful behaviors toward other children, even without fully understanding the impact of their actions. The fact that you repeatedly told him to stop and he continued anyway shows that your boundaries were deliberately ignored, which is a form of coercion. His young age doesn't erase the impact it had on you. You were not at fault, and you did nothing wrong.

The dismissive responses you received from others ("he must have liked you") reflect harmful cultural narratives that normalize boundary violations as expressions of affection. This kind of response can cause survivors to doubt their own experiences and feelings, which appears to have happened in your case. Minimizing your feelings in that way doesn't acknowledge the distress you experienced.

Your feelings of confusion, repulsion, and selectiveness about physical contact are valid responses to what happened. It's also understandable that this experience might have influenced how you feel about physical contact with others today. Early experiences like this can leave a lasting impression on how we relate to people and how safe we feel in certain situations.

Healing is possible. Many people find that speaking with a trauma-informed therapist helps them process childhood experiences and develop healthier relationships with touch and intimacy. Your experience is valid, your boundaries matter, and the impact on you is real regardless of the other child's age or intentions. You're not alone in this, and reaching out is a brave step forward. Take care of yourself, and know that your well-being matters. Thank you for trusting us with this.