I recently had my first gynecological examination. The experience was stressful for several reasons. The doctor seemed physically aggressive during the exam, in my opinion. I had difficulty staying still due to nervousness. Despite my request, the doctor didn't consistently warn me before touching me. I felt scared that I might be forcibly restrained. I understand that the examination wasn't sexual in nature, but I'm unsure how to process this experience. Are my feelings of discomfort and uncertainty justified? How should I interpret this situation?

Thank you for sharing your experience with your first gynecological exam. I want to start by affirming that your feelings of discomfort and uncertainty are absolutely valid and justified. Medical examinations, especially first-time gynecological exams, can be stressful, and it's important that healthcare providers take their patients' comfort and concerns seriously.

It's crucial to understand that all people, regardless of their trauma history, deserve trauma-informed care. Trauma-informed care is an approach that recognizes the widespread impact of trauma. It recognizes the signs and symptoms of trauma in patients, families, and staff, and responds by fully integrating knowledge about trauma into policies, procedures, and practices. In a medical setting, this might include:

1. Explaining procedures clearly before they happen
2. Asking for consent before touching the patient
3. Being attentive to signs of discomfort or distress
4. Offering breaks or pauses during the examination
5. Providing options to the patient to increase their sense of control

Your experience raises concerns that indicate your needs were not adequately met during this appointment. The lack of sensitivity to your nervousness, the perceived physical aggression, the failure to communicate as promised, and your fear of being restrained all suggest that trauma-informed care principles were not fully applied.

Moving forward, know that you have options. You can discuss your experience with a trusted adult, provide feedback to the doctor's office if you feel comfortable doing so, and for future exams, you have the right to request a different doctor, ask for detailed explanations of procedures, or even stop the exam if you feel too uncomfortable. Some people find it helpful to have a supportive person in the room during exams, while others prefer privacy. Consider what would make you most comfortable in the future.

Remember, your comfort and mental well-being are important aspects of your overall health care. It's okay to advocate for yourself and to expect healthcare providers to respect your needs and boundaries. If you continue to feel distressed about this experience, speaking with a counselor or therapist might be helpful in processing your feelings. Everyone deserves respectful, trauma-informed care in all medical settings. Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to seek support if you need it. We appreciate you trusting us with your story.