I grew up with physical and emotional abuse and neglect, and I've done a lot of my own research into mental health conditions. I think medication might be part of what I need. But my family completely denies that any of it happened. Where do I even start when the people who were supposed to protect me won't acknowledge what they did?

Thank you for reaching out, and for doing the quiet, determined work of looking inward, learning about your own experiences, and searching for what you might need. That is not a small thing. The fact that you are here, asking this question, is a meaningful act of standing up for yourself. The instinct that brought you here is worth following.

What you went through as a child was real. Your family denying it does not change what happened in that house or in your body. When the people who were supposed to protect you also refuse to acknowledge what happened, it can make you question your own memory and perception. That disorientation, that feeling of not being able to trust what you know to be true, is one of the most painful parts of growing up in a harmful environment. It is also part of how the harm keeps going. You do not need your family's acknowledgment to begin healing, and you do not need their permission to get care. Your account of your own life is enough.

When children experience ongoing physical abuse, emotional abuse, or neglect, the nervous system adapts. The nervous system is the part of your body that controls how you respond to stress and danger. It learns to stay on high alert, or to shut down completely, or to swing back and forth between the two. These were survival tools when you were young. Over time, they can show up as mood swings, trouble concentrating, disrupted sleep, emotional numbness, or a feeling of being disconnected from yourself or the world around you. What you are experiencing may overlap with symptoms of depression, anxiety, PTSD (which stands for post-traumatic stress disorder, a condition that can develop after living through ongoing harm), ADHD, or other conditions. Getting a mental health evaluation, which is a thorough mental health assessment done by a trained provider, is not about fitting yourself into a single box. It is about understanding your experience well enough to find the right support.

The first step toward medication is connecting with a prescribing provider. That is someone with the medical training and legal authority to prescribe medication. This is typically a psychiatrist (a medical doctor who specializes in mental health), a psychiatric nurse practitioner, or in some cases a primary care physician (a general doctor you might see for regular checkups). If you have access to a primary care physician, you can start there. You do not need to walk in with a diagnosis or a prepared list of conditions. You can simply say that you experienced trauma in childhood, that you have been struggling with your mental health, and that you would like a referral to a psychiatrist or a mental health evaluation. A therapist or counselor, while not able to prescribe medication, is also an important part of this process. Many people find that therapy and medication together are more effective than either one alone. Trauma-informed providers are especially valuable here. These are providers who understand how early harm shapes the nervous system and who will approach your care with that knowledge in mind.

If cost or insurance is a barrier, community mental health centers are a strong option. These are publicly funded clinics, meaning they receive government support, and they offer sliding scale fees, which means what you pay is based on how much money you make. Many have psychiatrists on staff. You can search for one near you through SAMHSA's treatment locator or by calling SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357, which is free, confidential, and available at any hour. If you are currently a student, your school or university may also offer mental health services, sometimes including psychiatric evaluation, at low or no cost.

When you meet with a provider, you might find it helpful to write down what you have been experiencing beforehand. Consider including specific symptoms, how long they have been present, and how they affect your daily life. This kind of preparation can make appointments feel less overwhelming and helps providers understand you more fully. You do not owe anyone your family's version of your history. If a provider dismisses your concerns or makes you feel unheard, that is a reflection of that provider, not of you, and you are allowed to seek someone else.

It is also worth knowing that your family's denial may come up for you emotionally as you engage with care. Many people find that beginning to name and treat the effects of childhood harm brings grief, anger, or confusion alongside relief. This is completely normal. Healing is not a straight line, and accessing support often opens things up before it begins to settle them. Having a therapist alongside any medication process is particularly valuable for this reason.

You can also find community here at Our Wave. Reading others' experiences and knowing you are not alone in navigating this road can matter more than people expect. You showed up for yourself when others did not. You do not need your family to believe you. You need people in your corner who will. They exist, and you deserve to find them.