I experienced unwanted touching from my younger sisters during childhood. This happened multiple times: when I was 7 and one sister was 5, when I was 10 and they were 8 and 6, and when I was 12 and they were 10 and 8. The touching was against my consent. I'm struggling to understand these experiences because I rarely find resources about situations where the other person is younger. Some people suggest that they didn't know what they were doing so I shouldn't hold them accountable. Does this count as sexual assault?

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your experience. It takes a lot of courage to talk about something so personal and complex, especially when it involves family members. While your sisters' ages are relevant to understanding the context, their youth doesn't invalidate your feelings or the impact these experiences had on you. I'm sorry to hear that you've been carrying these feelings with you.

It's understandable that you're struggling to make sense of this. Children at ages 5-10 are still developing their understanding of boundaries, bodies, and appropriate behavior. However, this developmental context doesn't minimize your experience of having your boundaries violated. The dynamics of sibling interactions involving inappropriate touching are complicated, especially when the younger sibling is the one initiating the behavior. The lack of resources addressing this specific situation can make it even more isolating and confusing.

Rather than focusing on labels or accountability, it might be helpful to acknowledge that your discomfort and confusion about these experiences are valid. Your boundaries were violated regardless of intent, and the age of the person who crosses a boundary doesn't make the violation any less real for the person experiencing it. While children aged 5-8 typically don't fully comprehend the implications of sexual behavior, and their actions may stem from curiosity or their own experiences, this doesn't diminish the impact on you. Your feelings and experiences are valid. It's natural to feel confused, hurt, or upset about what happened, regardless of their age or intentions.

To answer your question more generally, yes, a person can be sexually assaulted by someone younger than themselves. Sexual assault is defined by actions that violate personal boundaries and occur without consent, regardless of the ages of the individuals involved. What you described—being touched against your consent by your younger sisters at different points in your childhood—is concerning and can certainly be considered a form of sexual abuse depending on the context and extent to which this behavior occurred.

Child-on-child sexual abuse occurs when one minor engages in sexual activities with another minor without consent, or uses force, coercion, or manipulation. It's important to recognize that age differences and developmental stages play a role, but the key factors are consent and the impact of the actions. Even if your sisters were younger and may not have fully understood the implications of their behavior, it doesn't diminish the effect it had on you.

People might suggest that because they were younger or didn't know what they were doing, you shouldn't hold them accountable. However, your feelings and experiences are valid. It's natural to feel confused, hurt, or upset about what happened, regardless of their age or intentions. Acknowledging how these events have affected you is an important step in processing and healing.

It might be helpful to speak with a mental health professional who can provide support and guidance tailored to your situation. A counselor or therapist experienced in childhood trauma or family dynamics can help you navigate your feelings and explore ways to cope with the impact of these experiences.

Remember, you're not alone, and it's okay to seek help. Your well-being is important, and reaching out is a positive step toward understanding and healing. Thank you for trusting us with this. We appreciate you.