I am having memories come up from when I was younger, and I'm beginning to wonder if what happened could be considered COCSA. My cousin and I were playing a game...I think we were playing house. I don't remember what happened before, but I remember him pinning me down on the ground and trying to kiss me. He wouldn't let me get up and kept asking until I did. I can't remember much else as the memory is really fuzzy. I remember feeling trapped and confused and like I couldn't tell anyone. I don't know if this could be considered child-on-child sexual abuse or if I'm overreacting. I don't want to call it something it's not, but it felt that way. It's also confusing because I can't remember all the details. Could this be COCSA?

Thank you for sharing something so personal with us. It takes a lot of courage to put these kinds of memories into words, especially when they feel incomplete or uncertain. What you're describing does involve some elements that are commonly associated with COCSA (child-on-child sexual abuse). COCSA generally refers to sexual behavior between children that involves force, coercion, a power imbalance, or a lack of mutual consent. The key details you remember (e.g. feeling trapped, being physically held down, and being pressured until you gave in) suggest that this interaction was not mutual or consensual on your part, even within a game. It seems like there were some elements of coercion here.  

I also want to gently address your concern about overreacting. It's incredibly common for survivors to question whether their experience "counts" or whether they're making too much of it, especially when the other person involved was also a child. But your feelings about what happened are important and valid. Those emotional responses are telling you something meaningful about how this experience affected you and they deserve to be taken seriously regardless of what label you ultimately choose to use.

The fact that your memories are fuzzy and fragmented is also completely normal. Trauma, especially childhood trauma, can affect the way memories are stored and recalled. When something distressing happens, our brains don't always record events in a neat, linear way. You may remember certain details vividly while other parts remain blurry or missing entirely. This doesn't mean your experience didn't happen or that it wasn't significant. Many survivors describe their memories in exactly this way, and incomplete memories do not make your experience any less real or valid.

You get to decide what language feels right for you when describing this experience. Whether you call it COCSA, whether you use other words, or whether you're still figuring that out...all of that is okay. What matters most is that you honor what you felt then and what you're feeling now. If these memories are causing you distress, speaking with a trauma-informed therapist can be incredibly helpful in processing fragmented memories and the emotions that come with them, at whatever pace feels safe for you. You deserve that support.