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Survivor story
Take back your power
Original story
Message to a Survivor
I know that it may seem impossible now and you’re hurt, you’re confused and you’re angry. Just know that it is okay to be all those things because you just went through something traumatic but never forget that your story matters! I know that there will be persons around you that tell you it was your fault because of what you wore or how you acted but always remember, it will never be your fault. Don’t ever let your perpetrator dull your sparkle and just know that there are people out there that care! I know that it’s hard and you became a part of a community that you did not wish to join. But there is power in numbers, there is power in sharing your story and there is power in standing up for yourself. You are going to be okay!
Message of Healing
Healing means that I take back my power and I learn to channel those feelings of anger into something constructive and positive. Healing means seeing this incident as something that made me stronger and not something that held me back. Healing means doing things in life for me and not for someone else and most importantly, healing means giving back and being able to stand up for other survivors who may need additional support to start their healing journey.
I was sexually assaulted by my cousin when I was 17 and instead of my family supporting and uplifting me, they blamed me. This left me feeling hurt and alone and what made it worse was finding out that I was the last of four cousins he did this to. My case has been in court for about 10 years now and I am still awaiting justice but it has not been an easy road. My family still blame me and put pressure on me to forgive him and bring the family back together. His siblings blame me for going to the police and standing up for myself and the hardest part of all is this has affected my adult relationships. I find myself not being able to be vulnerable and I am not able to trust people easily. It feels like for so long I’ve had to take care of myself and make sure I was good because no one did that for me, that now it’s hard to know how to be vulnerable and allow someone to get close to me. But I take comfort in knowing that my molester did not win and I stood up for myself and understanding that I am not a victim but a survivor is truly powerful 🙏🏻
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.