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Survivor story
wish there was a time machine
Original story
Message to a Survivor
set boundaries, even if people get angry its better to know your worth and be alone that feeling lonely and trapped
Message of Healing
i want to heal, i want my mistakes to make stronger not weaker. i want to be able to set boundaries even if it means losing the people i love. i want to feel peace and not disgust with myself. i hate looking myself in the mirror and i dont ever want to feel like that ever again.
I have had feelings for a guy for a long time. He was always sweet, he would hug me goodbye sometimes. he told me he was a very empathetic person and would feel my emotions, if i was anxious or sad he would feel it. I didn't love him but i thought i could be with him romantically and i didn't care if we lasted 3 months or 1 year i wanted to try things and take risks for once. On our last date he took me to his home, we engage in sexual activity. At the very last moment, i regretted it and told him i wasn't ready for sex. He told me if i didn't have sex with him then i was never going to be able to have sex (mind you it was my first time). I couldn't handle the pain of his thing entering my body. i told him to stop thankfully he did, but he told me to perform oral, i did. although i wasn't in the mood anymore. I started bleeding and told him and he just shrugged his shoulders and told me to but my clothes back on. he got very angry at me because i couldn't perform well to satisfy him. After our sexual encounter he began to behave extremely rude and couldn't comprehend my feelings, he made me feel insane for feeling hurt and betrayed. i told him i was obviously not going to be an expert my first time and begged him to have patience with me and that i was willing to try things again but he told me i was just an anxious person not worth his time. i hate that i still have feelings for him despite everything he is, i feel emotionally and physically attached to him. i want to get over him but i cant i feel guilt and cant stop crying since our encounter.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.