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Survivor story
What its like to lose purpose of living.
Original story
It all started back in 2017, I met a "girl", we got along and we were supposed to be a thing. Turns out she looked/seemed like a "girl" but she was a junkie and surprisingly a mother, had a baby and a lot of conflicts between her and her husband. They had 7 cases running on in court. As soon as I know, I called everything off and moved on. 2 years later, I was engaged, had the job of my dreams, side hustles and everything. One day I got a call from a police station asking me to turn myself in for an investigation. Of course I did care a lot about my reputation that I had to go myself after telling my family. I was 21 then. I had false accusations and bribe going on with my case. It's the woman back in 2017. There were videos of her sleeping with different men while she's married! There was nothing at all in her phone but my phone number, and so, I got thrown in jail for 4 months. Completely shocked of what's happening to me, got abused in jail, got extras from the guards because of her husband bribing around. I had nothing to do with this at all! Moving on, my cousin is a man-of-law, he forced a way out for me by bailing till whatever comes next. I got out completely a different person, I lost my fiancé, my job, my hustles, my car, my reputation, everything.. I'm 24 now and my case is still going, haven't gotten back there, case isn't closed either, but because we're asking for a case-review from everyone in charge, government, princes, princesses and even the king himself. We did that for 3 whole years, but nothing worked, one more time, the bribe ruined everything for me. As I said, I'm 24 and my case is still on, a lot of psychological pain, matter of fact it's not just psychological for me, it turned into physical pain. My fingers cramp, my thighs and calves. I don’t/can’t sleep, my back is one solid pain, I don’t eat right. I lost a lot of weight, my heart hurts me the ENTIRE time, literally. Can't think straight, lost hope, faith and purpose of living. Living in complete depression. After all this, I'm being asked to turn myself in next Sunday, they're throwing me back in jail for a whole year. I just wanted to share my miserable story, full of pain. I feel so blue, cold and a lot of darkness everywhere. Thank you all for passing by.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.