was i groomed or just sexually assaulted?

i know that i was sexually assaulted/taken advantage of (cocsa) but what i really want to know is if i was groomed. if you read my story, please tell me what you think. this happened to me 7+ years ago. i was 12 when i met my abuser, who was 13, through his girlfriend at the time because she told me he wanted to talk to us (since me and my brother were friends with her) and within two days i was already telling him i loved him, he became my best friend (pretty much my only irl friend other than his girlfriend, i was also extremely isolated at home because my parents were constantly working so i was alone most of the time which i spent calling and texting and facetiming him) and i was struggling mentally especially with my bpd at that point. to me, i wanted to be special, i wanted to be his favorite (over my brother because my brother was everyone’s favorite) and when i felt like he was choosing me and saying he wanted me more because he was more physical with me than he was with my brother when he assaulted me (something that’s really interesting about him is that in person, he was really stand-off ish, like he didn’t really initiate a lot of physical contact and he would sort of keep his distance but then it made the moments when he would do something like even just hold my hand while walking down the hall it was like he had given me this incredible gift so i craved it because he was so withholding in person) he would repeatedly tell me that he was turned on by me even though i identified as asexual at the time (i did start to respond to what he was saying about being turned on by saying i was “romantically turned on”—even though i didn’t fully understand what it meant, i understood the basic concept—and he would respond that he was turned on the other kind of way), he technically didn’t go as far as he could have, when he brought up the story of how he and his girlfriend first kissed, i asked him how far they had gone and i don’t know why but i did and he told me (which i sort of understood conceptually but didn’t fully know what it meant) like he didn’t talk about what my fantasies of having sex with him would be like but he did still emphasize his sexual attraction towards me, he told me, “you’re mine, now. forever.” it felt like he was claiming me, branding me as his. he said that before he had even done anything to me. eventually, i confessed that i wanted to kiss him and he asked if i wanted him to be my first kiss. i originally agreed enthusiastically. i felt like i was special because he was choosing me, that i was his favorite because he wanted me. but as soon as it actually happened, i didn't want it anymore. everything I did to try to stop him (pulling away, pushing him away, freezing, even biting him) did nothing, he would pause just long enough to respond dismissively to my attempt and keep going (ex. "that was physically nothing. you made it sound like you knew how to kiss." "you don't know what turns me on, do you?" "don't worry, i'm not taking anything off."). like when i told him that my mom wanted us to keep the doors open, he replied, "what, does your mom think i'm gonna fuck you or something?" and closed them as soon as we got up to my room. he kissed me for hours until my skin stung. he rarely asked or gave any indication that he was going to do something, he would just do it. he put his hands around my waist and hips. he only ever asked if he could kiss my neck and because i was heavily dissociating the entire time (to the point where i was having an out of body experience constantly), my head just fell forward in this automatic nod. he kissed it so roughly, it felt like my skin was being rubbed raw, it felt like rope burn. except my body was responding with pleasure, it felt like a high. at one point, he tugged down on the collar of my shirt (which is when he “reassured” me that he wasn’t taking anything off), i was so scared i thought i was going to die. i thought he was going to rape me. even though he didn't, it was the worst experience of my life.