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Original story
Don't be afraid to tell somebody, even if you're being threatened. It only makes things worse and none of it was your fault.
The day before my thanksgiving break I was on the bus ride home (school bus, not public transportation), I usually tend to sit towards the back because thats where my other friends would sit most of the time. The bus isn't overcrowded as it usually is because not many people came to school, so it was just me who was 12 at the time and in 7th grade, my other 7th grade friend ill call him "T" who was also 12/13 and an 8th grader sitting behind me, i'll call him "M" who was 13/14. I sat all the way in the back one seat ahead of the last one, M was behind me. I'm scrolling on my phone waiting until we get to my stop, not long before we leave school T starts making odd remarks about how he's gonna SA me and touch me, sometimes people around me would joke like this and not do anything so i didn't pay it much attention and went back to looking at my phone. Eventually he comes into the seat next to me and starts making more inappropriate remarks about how he's gonna feel me up on my chest, thighs and other private areas. One thing to mention is that I was already kinda scared of T because of his physical strength, so I try moving but he just pushes me against the window and tries to start touching me. I don't let him get too far with it until M starts assisting my "friend" in the act by holding me down and moving my arms away from my body so I could be freely touched. I screamed but nobody from the front of the bus seemed to hear me or they just assumed it was just someone being weird or playing around. I tried recording the things he was saying but he noticed and took my phone and threatened to throw it out the window, but for the time being he just threw it to the seat across the aisle from us. I emailed my teacher about what happened but I knew she wouldn't see my message until we came back to school, which was about 4 days later. Once those 4 days were up, I gave her more information, she told our grade level assistant principal and nothing proceeded to happen, i waited days, weeks, eventually it was a month that had passed and i just gave up on getting them in trouble. I don't remember crying or anything of the sort, and i didn't tell the bus driver, we coincidentally had a substitute one that day and they still had another route to do after us so they couldn't do much about it themself either. I can't tell if i was really impacted by it or not, it was just weird especially since I considered T to be my friend and M to not be that much of a weirdo. A year after all of this went down, still nothing, but by then I had fully stopped caring. I didn't tell my parents because I didn't want them to overreact, I mean this is serious but I felt like I wasn't that harmed by it. I was also frightened of the idea of T and M trying to fight me or do it again if they were to get suspended and come back afterwards. I confronted both of them after our break in front of other people, they thought it was weird but they didn't seem to care much or want to do anything about it. I'd say now i'm fine, its been a while and I don't feel the need for therapy, I just wanted them to get in trouble for what they did. My 8th grade year I proceeded to stay away from T as much as possible, but our bus was smaller and we're in the same grade so it wasn't totally accomplishable. I'm not really sure what to do about this now, maybe eventually i'll tell one of my family members what happened but today is not one of those days and tomorrow isn't either.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.