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Survivor story

I was just a young girl.

Original story

Message to a Survivor

I know, if this has happened to you in any way. It will linger on your mind, it'll hurt just to hear the name of the one/s who hurt you. But just know what they did was not okay, but you will become okay eventually. The fact you've gotten this far is amazing, you are powerful and strong. Do what you need to do to heal and feel better, not what others tell you, you need to do. Your healing journey will look different to others, and that's okay, but just don't shy away from support.

Message of Healing

I really hope that I get the courage to tell my parents, but I'm taking this small step of sharing it without anyone knowing who I am, in hopes till help me build my courage to tell my family. Healing is a very long winded process and the end goal is for me to be able to admit it happened to me to the ones I love most.

Hi, my sexual story began when I was only 14. I was dating a guy and he was older then me by about a year. He was 15 or 16 at the time. I went over to his house and was sort of peer pressured into having sex with him. It was not enjoyable and I later found out that he had been sleeping with at least 2 other girls in his age bracket. That is when we broke up. I felt deviated. My friends who were also 14-15 at the time, really wanted to help me get over this older guy. I hadn't told them about him peer pressuring me into it. So they set me up with another bloke, he was younger then us so I thought he could do no harm. We went to hangout at the local showgrounds where I believed we would throw a frisbee and just be kids. This is when he began to kiss and grope me. I didn't really push him away because I didn't know what to do. Then he began to slide his hand up my skirt, and under my bike pants. I knew I wasn't comfortable so I tried pulling away but that's when he pulled them down. He asked me, "Can I put it in?" I was shocked, this was the first time I had hungout with this man one in one. My response was, "I'm not too sure about that yet." But he ignored me. Put it in anyways. I just froze and did exactly what he said. I kept repeating in my head, "this means nothing. This means nothing, till be over soon." At the age of 14 I was raped by a 13 year old in a bush at my local showgrounds. I blamed myself for a long time. Thinking it was my fault because I didn't push him off or indicate that I didn't want it. But now looking back, that no yes means no. My parents still to this day do not know, and I don't know how to tell them.

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Grounding activity

Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1. Where am I?

2. What day of the week is today?

3. What is today’s date?

4. What is the current month?

5. What is the current year?

6. How old am I?

7. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.