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Survivor story

family member sexual abuse

Original story

Message to a Survivor

it's not your fault, it never is your fault

it started when i was 6 i had a cousin and he had a game we would play he said it was a fun game and well unfortunately i didn't know this back then by i know now that i was sexually abused back then he would touch me inappropriately and i wasn't ok but after awhile he wasn't coming back i used to think that was a dream and 3 months ago he reached out to me and we were hanging out all the time until he brought up the aka dream and my heart dropped when he told me i felt the same way i felt when i was a kid i felt my anxiety go up, i ignored the fact about that conversation we hung out again and that day he touched me again and i didnt know what to do and i let him and it happened many times after that my body would just freeze like i was just empty and i have been feeling lately like it is my fault and that i deserved it i feel like i'm dying inside and i feel sad everyday since then and i just want to feel normal again.

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Grounding activity

Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1. Where am I?

2. What day of the week is today?

3. What is today’s date?

4. What is the current month?

5. What is the current year?

6. How old am I?

7. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.