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Welcome to Our Wave.
This is a space where survivors of trauma and abuse share their stories alongside supportive allies.
The content on this page may include descriptions of sensitive topics such as trauma, abuse, and violence and is intended for readers 18 and older. Please take care of yourself as you read.
Message of Hope
I never thought I would ever end up a survivor of sex trafficking. I had always believed myself to be a strong confident woman, well educated and somehow above that. I wasn't, I am not. I am human like all of us. I have faults and unhealed wounds from my past. I was devastated when I began to remember what my abuser was doing to me. All the trauma I endured and I got to a point where I wasn't sure I was going to be able to see a future, at least not one where I could be whole again. I am not there yet, I am still very early on in my healing process. I am in trauma therapy and I attend weekly groups and I am starting to get back to taking care of me; but I can see a glimmer of light at the end of that tunnel. It is small but it is there. And as long as that light is shining, I will continue to work my way towards it. I believe it will burn even brighter as I get closer over time. But that's just it, time. It is going to take time and man does that suck, because I want to feel better now. I want to move past this now, but in some ways, that kind of thinking got me into a relationship with a man who was able to take so much from me. This time around, I am going to give myself the time to heal, to learn about myself, to learn how to value myself and never give too much of myself ever again. I am going to give myself the time to know my self worth - no longer believing I have to prove myself worthy. I am going to give myself the time to learn boundaries and that it is okay to think of myself over others, I am not selfish, I am not wrong, I have the right to put me first. That God/the Universe won't punish me if I do. I am going to give myself the time to be my own true love in this world. I know that we can all find a way to heal from what has been done to us and it was done to you. It is not your fault, it was not my fault, even being educated in mental health, even being confident and strong, it was never my fault. I would have never have chosen this for myself even though I chose him. We are not to be blamed for abusers choices and behaviors. We are to look at ourselves in the mirror and remind ourselves that we are to be loved, cherished and supported (even when we don't believe it or feel it) because we are, we all are. So no more "push through it". It is now about be with it, work through it, grow from it, but it takes time. In time I believe there is hope.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.