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Historia de un superviviente

#543

Historia original

Mensaje para un superviviente

Do not let the person or people who assaulted you rule your life. You are worth so much more than what someone took from you or made you feel. You are not the assault you faced. You can heal.

Mensaje de sanación

Healing is coping, accepting, and growing, but it does not mean forgetting. You do not have to forget or "move on" from your trauma. You find a way to move forward and find the people who will support and uplift you. Healing is accepting the scars, but not letting them define you.

I should have known what he was interested in when he kept asking me if I was really 18. It was around a time I had lost many friends and felt alone. He asked me on a date that ended in a park. I told him "no" many, many times. We had kissed but that was all I wanted. He proceeded to rape me and laughed at me when I panicked. I ended up freezing and after a cop pulled up because it was night and the park was closed. He laughed and asked me if I would tell everyone that he raped me. I didn't tell anyone for a long time because I was ashamed. I froze instead of fighting and I saw him again after that night. I learned later I was just trying to take control, I thought I must have been wrong about what happened. After the second time I saw him I found out he had a bet with a coworker about who could sleep with me or one of my coworkers first. I guess he won. It took me a long time to accept what happened wasn't my fault and that seeing him again was a means of coping or trying to comprehend the trauma. I wish I had sought help. It's been 12 years and I feel I've dissociated from the experience, but sometimes it comes back to me. I wish for every survivor out there to know it is not your fault no matter what reaction you had. You are worthy, you are valuable, and you matter. Don't let anyone take away your voice.

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