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Survivor story
Mom issues
Original story
I don't know if anyone will read this or if it will help anyone. Throughout my entire childhood, I was abused by my mother. My mother grew up in a violent environment with an abusive father who drank and was never home. That’s why my mother escaped to another country for a better life. When I was born, at least from the age of four (maybe even earlier, I just don't remember it), she would hit me, beat me, and say horrible things to me. Of course, my soul couldn't bear it. At 13, I started self-harming. For a while, this whole situation stopped, for about a year. One day when we had an argument, it happened again—my mom hit me. I ran to my dad, who was in the other room, and in front of him, I started crying and telling him what my mom had done. (In the past, I had mentioned to him again that my mom was doing this, but he hadn't done anything about it; he just comforted me). My mom came into the room. I started shouting at her, telling her that this was wrong and that when I became an adult, I would be running to psychologists because of her. My mom laughed and didn't take it seriously. After that day, nothing like that has ever happened again, and I feel much better that I managed to shout at her as loudly as I could that day to make her understand that what she was doing would affect me immeasurably in the future. (By the way I'm not an adult)
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.