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Survivor story
#1746
Original story
I was in Mexico with my friends. I had been drinking heavily into the night. I was clearly intoxicated. A guy took me to his room and started kissing me. My body went into a state of shock. I couldn't stop him from doing anything to me. I couldn't speak. He kept doing things to me but I felt like I was disassociating from the situation. I did not want to engage in anything that was happening but I felt like I couldn't say no. Every bone in my body was saying no. I felt bad because he had been talking to me with my friend and I earlier into the night. I was sexually abused by my moms boyfriend multiple times at the age of 8 years old. This has played a large role into my life. It has made it impossible for me to say no to any man that has asked me for anything. I feel like this played a role as to why I froze and couldn't respond back. I'm confused on what happened to me. I think about that night everyday. I have nightmares about it. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. I feel guilty about it. I feel like it was my fault and I feel like I should have stopped it but I couldn't.
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.