When I was young (6 years old), another child my age asked me to get inside a playhouse and then kissed me and licked my mouth repeatedly during playtime. I remember feeling uncomfortable from the moment he asked me to "be mommy" and later feeling horrified. I've been stressed about this experience for a long time. Was this child-on-child sexual abuse?

I'm so sorry this happened to you. What you're describing sounds like it was deeply uncomfortable and violating, and I can understand why you've carried stress about this experience for so long. Child-on-child sexual abuse (COCSA) generally refers to sexual interactions between children where there is a lack of consent, an imbalance of power, or where one child is coerced or manipulated into sexual activity. It can also include situations where one child's boundaries are violated, even when both children are the same age. Only you can determine what language feels right for your own experience and whether this term resonates with what happened to you.

What you're sharing tells me that you felt uncomfortable from the very beginning and that those feelings intensified into horror. Those responses matter deeply. Even at six years old, our bodies and minds can recognize when something doesn't feel right or safe, and your discomfort was a valid signal that your boundaries were being crossed. At the same time, it's important to understand that six-year-olds are still in the very early stages of learning about boundaries, consent, and social cues. Young children are developing their ability to recognize and respond to other people's body language and verbal signals, and they may not yet have the skills to understand when someone is uncomfortable or to stop behavior that's harmful. This developmental reality doesn't change the impact this experience had on you or make what happened appropriate, but it does provide context for understanding that young children are still learning these essential social and emotional skills.

Regardless of how you choose to name this experience, what matters most is that it affected you. The fact that you felt uncomfortable, that you remember feeling horrified, and that you've carried stress about this for years tells us that this experience was significant and harmful to you. You don't need to fit your experience into any particular category for it to matter or for your feelings to be valid. Trauma isn't determined by labels or definitions—it's determined by how an experience impacts you. Your body remembers feeling unsafe, and the emotional weight you've carried is real and deserving of acknowledgment.

Many people who had similar childhood experiences struggle with questions about whether what happened "counts" or whether they have a right to be affected by it. The truth is that if this experience has stayed with you and caused you distress, then it was significant, and you deserve support in processing it. You have every right to seek help and to honor your own feelings about what happened. Healing often begins when we stop questioning whether our pain is valid and start giving ourselves permission to acknowledge the impact something had on us. You deserve care, validation, and support as you work through this. Thank you for trusting us with this.