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Two years ago, I had been casually seeing someone for about two weeks. One evening while I was intoxicated, we were making out when he began pressuring me for sex. I was a virgin at the time and repeatedly said no, but he kept insisting and begging, saying he needed it. I eventually gave in just to stop his persistent pressure. Two years later, I still feel unsettled and violated by this experience, but I'm confused about how to process these feelings. Was this sexual assault given that I was intoxicated and pressured into agreeing despite repeatedly saying no?

Answer written by a PhD Prepared Mental Health Nurse

Thank you for sharing your experience and I am so sorry this happened to you. While I hesitate to label your experience for you, based on what you've described, it sounds like you were pressured into a sexual activity that you did not want to participate in. You repeatedly said no, but he continued to persist until you felt you had to agree just to make it stop. Consent should always be freely given, enthusiastic, and can be withdrawn at any time. Pressuring someone into saying yes is not obtaining true consent.

What you shared could be considered a form of sexual coercion, which falls under the umbrella of sexual assault or abuse. It's understandable that the situation doesn't sit right with you and that you feel violated. Your feelings are completely valid, and it's important to acknowledge them.

Processing these emotions can be challenging, especially when dealing with confusion and conflicting feelings. It might be helpful to speak with a professional counselor or therapist who can provide support and guidance as you work through your thoughts and emotions. They can offer a safe space for you to express yourself and help you navigate this difficult experience.

Remember, you're not alone, and reaching out for support is a strong and positive step forward. Trust your gut that something did not feel right in that situation. You deserve to feel heard and to receive the assistance you need.

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