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Is unwanted physical contact from a peer considered harassment? I have this group of bus friends, some are good but others I dislike being around. One girl in the grade below me has always treated me poorly, making me the joke of the group and intentionally upsetting me. Recently, her behavior has escalated - she's always been somewhat physical (snatching my phone, grabbing my hands, touching my thigh once), but now she grabs my chin without permission daily, caresses my head, and behaves in ways that make me uncomfortable. After the first chin-grabbing incident, I felt like crap for the rest of the day and couldn't focus in class. I don't know what to do, and I hesitate to seek help because I worry my situation isn't serious enough compared to what others experience.

Answer written by a PhD Prepared Mental Health Nurse

I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing this situation. What you're describing sounds like unwanted physical contact that's making you uncomfortable and impacting your well-being - this is absolutely valid to be concerned about. The behavior you've described—someone grabbing your chin, touching your thigh, caressing your head, and taking your belongings without permission—is not okay. This kind of unwanted physical contact can indeed be considered harassment.

Your feelings of distress after these incidents are an understandable response to boundary violations. The fact that you felt terrible for the rest of the day and couldn't focus in class shows this is having a real impact on you. Everyone has the right to personal space and to be treated with respect. If someone's actions are making you feel like "crap" or affecting your ability to focus, it's important to acknowledge that your feelings are valid. It's not insignificant just because others might have different experiences; what matters is how it affects you.

You deserve to have your physical boundaries respected. Consider clearly telling this person, "Please don't touch me," or "I don't like it when you grab my chin." If possible, say this in a firm, calm voice. Sometimes having a trusted friend with you when you set this boundary can help. If direct communication feels unsafe or ineffective, talking to a trusted adult - like a parent, school counselor, or teacher - is completely appropriate. They can provide support and guidance on how to address the situation. Schools have policies against harassment, and staff members are there to help with these situations.

Remember that seeking help isn't "wasting anyone's time" - your well-being matters. You don't have to handle this alone, and reaching out for help is a strong and important step. Setting boundaries is okay, and you have the right to tell others when their behavior is unwelcome. Everyone deserves to feel safe and comfortable, and you're not overreacting by wanting this behavior to stop. Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to seek the support you need. Thank you for trusting us with this. You are not alone.

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