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Is it considered sexual assault if the person didn’t touch me, but manipulated me into touching myself in front of them, while they did too?

Dr. Laura

Answer by Dr. Laura

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Thank you for sharing this difficult experience with us. What you've described can indeed be considered a form of sexual assault or abuse. Manipulating someone into engaging in sexual activities, even without physical contact, is a violation of consent and personal boundaries. Only you can label your experience, however.

Consent should always be freely given, enthusiastic, and without any form of pressure, manipulation, or coercion. If someone manipulates or pressures you into touching yourself for their gratification, they are disregarding your autonomy and violating your right to make choices about your own body.

It's understandable to feel confused or uncertain about how to label what happened. Many people in similar situations struggle with these feelings. Please know that your feelings are valid and healing is possible.

If you're feeling upset, distressed, or unsure about how this experience has affected you, it might be helpful to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or a trauma-informed therapist. They can provide support and help you process your feelings. You deserve to feel safe and respected in all your interactions. What happened was not your fault. Thank you for trusting us with this. You are not alone.

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