I'm seeking guidance about experiences from my primary school years that I'm just starting to process. When I was younger, several male classmates would repeatedly touch me inappropriately, ignoring my clear verbal protests and requests for them to stop. I remember specifically telling them it wasn't funny and begging them to leave me alone. When I reported this to a teacher who witnessed the incidents, she dismissed my concerns by saying 'they were only playing.' This response has stayed with me, along with the physical memory of the unwanted touching, which still feels very present and distressing. I've recently learned about COCSA (Child-on-Child Sexual Abuse) and would appreciate insight into whether this term applies to my experiences. I'm trying to make sense of these memories and understand how to process them.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I'm sorry that you went through such a distressing situation, and that your feelings were dismissed by someone who should have supported you.

What you described—boys touching your body in inappropriate places while you were begging them to stop—is not acceptable behavior. It's understandable that this experience has left you feeling uncomfortable and that the memories still impact you today.

COCSA refers to sexual activities between children that are inappropriate for their age or developmental stage, especially when there's a lack of consent, coercion, or a power imbalance. Some key factors that can help distinguish COCSA from normal childhood curiosity include:

• Lack of Consent: One child does not agree to the activity or is pressured into it.
• Age or Developmental Differences: A significant age gap or difference in maturity between the children involved.
• Power Imbalance: One child has more authority, strength, or social standing, making it difficult for the other to refuse.
• Coercion or Force: The use of threats, manipulation, or physical force to make someone participate.
• Emotional Distress: Feelings of fear, shame, or confusion during or after the incident.

In your situation, you clearly expressed discomfort and asked them to stop, but they continued their behavior. This indicates a lack of consent and respect for your boundaries. The fact that you still feel affected by this experience highlights its impact on you. Only you can label your experiences, but regardless on what you decide, if you feel that you need additional support you deserve it and should consider seeking it out.

If you're comfortable, it might be helpful to talk to a mental health professional about your experiences. They can provide a safe space for you to process your feelings and work towards healing. It's important to acknowledge that what happened was not your fault. You had every right to feel safe and respected, and the behavior of those boys was inappropriate. The teacher's dismissal of your concerns was also not okay, as it invalidated your feelings and failed to provide the support you deserved.

You're not alone, and you deserve to feel safe and respected. Thank you again for trusting us with your story.