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Answer by Dr. Laura
PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner
Thank you for reaching out, and yes, absolutely, you can.
After harm, it's common to feel unsure about what space you're allowed to take up. This space is yours, and you don't need permission to use it in whatever way is most helpful for your healing.
Poetry is one of the oldest ways people have made sense of pain. Overwhelming experiences can be hard to put into words. They often live in the body more than in sentences. Poetry makes room for that. It doesn't demand logic or a clear beginning and end. It holds fragments, images, and feelings that don't need to be explained. Many survivors find it reaches something a journal entry or conversation can't.
You don't need to write well or clearly, or make sense to anyone, even yourself. Your poem can be messy, dark, hopeful, contradictory, or unfinished. You can write around the edges of something painful or straight into it. The point isn't the finished product. The point is giving what's inside you somewhere to go.
If you'd like to share what you write here on Our Wave, we'd be honored to read it. Someone else might recognize their own experience in your words, and that sense of not being alone is part of how healing moves through a community. You can also keep it entirely private. A poem that's just for you is just as whole.
We're here, and we're listening. Thank you for being here.
You have a comment in progress, are you sure you want to discard it?
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Grounding activity
Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:
5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)
4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)
3 – things you can hear
2 – things you can smell
1 – thing you like about yourself.
Take a deep breath to end.
From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.
Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).
Take a deep breath to end.
Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:
1. Where am I?
2. What day of the week is today?
3. What is today’s date?
4. What is the current month?
5. What is the current year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Take a deep breath to end.
Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.
Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.
Take a deep breath to end.
Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.
Take a deep breath to end.