Why did I become hypersexual around males after being sexually assaulted? Could this be connected to the assaults or to growing up with an abusive father? Or is this just who I am?

Thank you for trusting us with this. I want to start by addressing your last question first...no, this is not "just who you are." The fact that you're asking this question at all tells me that this behavior feels foreign to you, like something that doesn't quite align with who you know yourself to be underneath it all. That instinct is worth trusting.

Hypersexuality is one of the most common and most misunderstood responses to sexual trauma. After being sexually assaulted, your brain and body went through something that fundamentally disrupted your sense of safety, control, and autonomy. Hypersexuality can develop as the mind's attempt to regain some of that control by approaching the thing that was used to harm you on your own terms. This can create an illusion of power over what happened. It can also be a way of seeking validation, connection, or proof of your own worth through sexual attention, particularly if the trauma left you feeling powerless or devalued. Sometimes it's the body replaying a trauma pattern almost compulsively, not because you want it, but because your nervous system got stuck in a loop it doesn't know how to break.

The fact that this pattern specifically involves males adds another important layer, especially given that you also experienced abuse from your father. Growing up with an abusive father can deeply shape how you understand your value in relation to men (e.g. what you believe you're worth to them, what you think they want from you, and what you feel you need to do to earn safety, love, or approval). When sexual assault is layered on top of that foundation, hypersexual behavior around men can become a place where both wounds intersect. It may be difficult to untangle exactly how much comes from the assaults versus your father's abuse, and the truth is, it's likely both working together. These experiences don't exist in isolation. They build on each other and create patterns that can feel impossible to step outside of.

What I want you to hear most clearly is that this response does not define you. It is not a character flaw, and it is not evidence that something is wrong with who you are at your core. It is your mind and body responding to painful experiences in a way that made sense given what you've been through. Many survivors experience this, and many have found their way to a different relationship with their sexuality...one that feels more like their own. A trauma-informed therapist can help you gently explore where these patterns come from and support you in building a sense of sexuality and connection that feels authentic to you, rather than driven by what was done to you. You deserve that.