When I was very young (7-9 years), I engaged in sexual touching with my younger sister during bath time. Years later when I learned about inappropriate sexual contact, I felt disgusted and ashamed about what I had done. Do I deserve to feel this way about my childhood actions?

Thank you for reaching out to us. When you were between 7 and 9 years old, you were still very much a child learning about the world. At that age, children are naturally curious about their bodies and the differences between themselves and others. This curiosity is a normal part of development, and young children often do not fully understand boundaries or the implications of their actions, especially regarding concepts like sexuality or consent. Children naturally explore their bodies and sometimes engage with siblings or peers in ways that involve touching or looking at genitals. This behavior is typically driven by curiosity rather than sexual intent, as young children don't yet understand sexuality in the way adolescents and adults do.

What distinguishes normal childhood exploration from concerning behavior includes factors like the age difference between children, whether force or coercion was used, and whether the behavior was secretive or shame-based at the time. From your description, this appears to have been a brief incident of childhood curiosity that you didn't understand as inappropriate at the time, which is very different from deliberate harmful behavior.

It's important to recognize that as a child, you didn't have the same awareness, understanding, or intentions that you have now. You couldn't fully comprehend the social and moral implications of your actions back then. The intense shame you're experiencing now likely stems from applying your current adult understanding of appropriate boundaries to actions you took as a very young child. The feelings of disgust and shame you're experiencing now reflect your current maturity and understanding, not the innocence of your younger self. This is common but can be unnecessarily painful, as young children operate from a completely different developmental framework than teenagers or adults, and their actions should be understood within that context.

You don't deserve to carry such heavy guilt for something that occurred when you were a child without full comprehension of your actions. It's okay to acknowledge that, with the knowledge and values you have now, you wouldn't make the same choices. Be gentle with yourself. Remember, our past doesn't define us, but how we learn and grow from it does.