When I was a child between ages 6-13, I experienced sexual abuse from three different people at separate times. Now that I'm in high school, I notice that interactions with male teachers - even appropriate, friendly academic relationships - trigger feelings of discomfort and unsafety. These feelings remind me of past trauma, even though I rationally believe these teachers would never harm me. I'm struggling with these reactions and wondering if this response is normal and how to cope with it.

Thank you for asking this difficult but important question. It's completely understandable that you're experiencing discomfort and anxiety around your older male teachers, given both the inherent power dynamics in teacher-student relationships and your past experiences of abuse.

The teacher-student dynamic can be particularly challenging for survivors because it shares several key elements with grooming situations: the power differential, the age gap, the mentorship role, and the inherent trust placed in educators. Experiencing grooming and sexualization at such a young age can have lasting effects, and it's not uncommon for those feelings to resurface in situations that remind you of what happened, even when you rationally know you're safe.

Think of your nervous system like a highly sensitive security system that was programmed during a time of real danger. When it detects patterns similar to past threats - like an older authority figure showing interest in your academic development, or one-on-one situations like asking for help after class - it activates protective responses. While these feelings can be overwhelming, they're actually your brain doing exactly what it learned to do to keep you safe. Many survivors find themselves experiencing similar reactions in situations that remind them of past trauma, even years later and even when they logically know they're safe.

There are several strategies that can help manage these triggering situations. Consider establishing clear professional boundaries in teacher relationships, like only meeting during regular office hours or with other students present. Practice grounding techniques when you feel triggered. For example, many survivors find the 5-4-3-2-1 method helpful (naming 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste). It can also be valuable to actively remind yourself of how the present situation differs from the past, perhaps by keeping a note on your phone listing specific differences. Having a trusted friend or counselor you can check in with to reality-test your perceptions can provide additional support.

You don't have to navigate this alone. Talking to someone you trust about how you're feeling - whether that's a close friend, family member, or school counselor - can provide relief and help you navigate these emotions. A trauma-informed therapist can help you develop personalized coping strategies and work through these triggers at your own pace. They can offer guidance, reassurance, and help you find additional strategies to cope with the discomfort you're experiencing.

Above all, please know that your feelings are valid, your reactions make sense given your experiences, and you deserve support in working through this at your own pace. Healing takes time, and it's okay to seek help along the way. Be patient and kind to yourself as you work through these emotions. Thank you so much for trusting us with this. You are not alone.