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Is there help for when a person is in the midst of working through childhood sexual abuse in weekly therapy? I'm doing the work, but it's bringing up a lot. I wanted to know what to expect and if there are places to connect with others going through the same thing.

Dr. Laura

Answer by Dr. Laura

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Thank you for reaching out and congratulations for actively engaging in healing work. Not just surviving what happened, but actively, intentionally moving through it with a therapist every week. That is not a small thing, and this question tells me you are paying close attention to yourself.

The short answer is yes, there is absolutely help available between sessions, and knowing how to support yourself in those in-between spaces can make a real difference in how sustainable the process feels.

Therapy for childhood sexual abuse, especially when done well, often stirs things up before they settle. Your nervous system, the part of your body and brain that manages stress and safety, is being asked to revisit experiences it stored away, sometimes for years or decades, as a way of protecting you. This can mean that the hours and days after a session feel heavier or more disorienting than the days before it. The material you uncover does not stay neatly inside the therapy room. It can surface at unexpected moments, in your body, in your dreams, in the middle of an ordinary Tuesday. You might notice memories pushing their way in, heightened anxiety, emotional numbness, or difficulty sleeping. All of this is a sign that your nervous system is engaged in real work, not that something is going wrong.

One of the most important things you can do between sessions is build a small collection of grounding practices you can return to when you feel yourself pulled back into the emotional or physical weight of what you are processing. Grounding works by anchoring your nervous system to the present moment, reminding your body that right now, in this moment, you are safe. One approach many survivors find useful is naming five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. Holding something cold, pressing your feet firmly into the floor, or splashing water on your face can serve a similar purpose.

It can also help to create small rituals of safety and care for yourself after therapy sessions specifically (a walk, a warm drink, a particular song) something that signals to your body that the session is over and you are safe now.

Journaling is another practice many survivors find meaningful during active trauma processing. You do not need to write about the abuse itself. Sometimes writing about what you are feeling in your body right now, or what you noticed today, or what you are afraid of, is enough to create a small release. Some survivors also find relief in drawing or creating, or in moving the body gently through something like trauma-sensitive yoga, a form of movement designed specifically for people working through trauma the body has held onto.

If your therapist is using a specific therapeutic approach, consider asking them for between-session resources tailored to that approach. It is also completely reasonable to say: "I am finding it hard to steady myself after sessions. Can we talk about what I can do in between?"

If you need support before your next session: RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline is available around the clock at 1-800-656-4673, and also offers online chat. They are trained to support survivors in exactly these kinds of in-between moments, not only in acute crisis.

Peer support communities:

  • Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA) — A structured self-help program designed specifically for adult survivors, with regular Zoom meetings
    HAVOCA — Run by survivors, for survivors of child abuse, with active online forums
  • Pandora's Project — A peer community with message boards, a chat room, and blogs, safely moderated by survivors
  • 7 Cups — Free peer support chat rooms and trained listeners, available 24/7
    Beyond these, Our Wave's community at ourwave.org offers a space where people who have experienced sexual harm can share and witness one another's stories. There is something individual therapy cannot always provide — the felt sense of not being alone in this.

One more thing worth naming: healing from childhood sexual abuse is not linear. There will be weeks where you feel you have moved mountains, and weeks where you feel like you have been set back to the beginning. Both of those experiences are part of the same process, not proof that the process is failing.

Thank you for trusting us with this. We are here for you.

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Grounding activity

Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1. Where am I?

2. What day of the week is today?

3. What is today’s date?

4. What is the current month?

5. What is the current year?

6. How old am I?

7. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.