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In the context sexual behaviour between children of the same or similar ages, what sort of behaviours might be considered coercion?

Dr. Laura

Answer by Dr. Laura

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Thank you for this question. When discussing sexual behavior among children or adolescents of similar ages, it's important to be sensitive to the developmental nuances surrounding healthy sexual exploration and areas where coercion can occur. Coercion in these contexts can take various forms, but generally involves pressuring or manipulating someone into sexual activity they're not comfortable with or ready for.

Some behaviors that might be considered coercive include: persistent pressure or begging after being told "no"; using guilt or emotional manipulation; making threats; ignoring clearly stated boundaries or requests to stop; taking advantage of someone who is intoxicated or otherwise unable to consent; using physical force or intimidation; and blackmail or threats to reveal private information or images.

It's crucial to teach young people about consent, healthy relationships, and respecting others' boundaries. Any sexual activity should be mutually agreed upon, with both parties feeling comfortable and free to change their minds at any time.

Healthy exploration in childhood typically involves:

  • Age-appropriate curiosity and activities
  • Mutual consent and comfort from all involved
  • Equal power dynamics (similar age, developmental stage, etc.)
  • Respect for boundaries and privacy
  • No coercion or pressure
  • Ability to stop activities without negative consequences

Potentially problematic behaviors experienced in childhood may include:

  • Large age gaps or significant differences in developmental stages
  • Lack of mutual consent or enthusiasm
  • Pressure, coercion, or manipulation
  • Ignoring expressed discomfort or attempts to stop
  • Secrecy enforced through threats or shame
  • Mimicking adult sexual behaviors beyond age-appropriate understanding
  • Causing physical or emotional distress

If you're concerned about a specific situation involving minors, it's best to consult with a child psychologist, school counselor, or other professional trained in adolescent development and sexuality. They can provide more tailored guidance and support. In addition, ChildHelp has an online chatline which can provide personalized support and resources in this area.  

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