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I’m incredibly anxious about being harmed again. I'm scared to leave my house. What can I do about this?

Dr. Laura

Answer by Dr. Laura

PhD Mental Health Nurse & Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner

Thank you for reaching out to us. I understand how frightening and overwhelming your situation feels right now. It's completely natural to experience anxiety and fear after being harmed, and your desire to stay home where you feel safe is a normal response to trauma. However, it's important to remember that you have the strength within you to overcome these feelings and reclaim a sense of freedom in your life.

Healing is a gradual process, and it's okay to take small steps. Consider starting with brief moments outside, like sitting on your porch or walking to your mailbox. As you become more comfortable, you can slowly increase the duration and distance of these outings. Remember, every small step is a victory.

Seeking professional support can be incredibly beneficial. A therapist, especially one specializing in trauma and anxiety, can provide you with valuable tools and strategies to manage your fears and process your experiences. They can help you develop coping mechanisms and gradually work towards feeling safer in the world.

In the meantime, focus on self-care and establishing routines that bring you comfort. This might include practicing relaxation techniques, engaging in activities you enjoy, or connecting with supportive friends and family, even if it's just through phone calls or video chats for now.

Remember, you're not alone in this journey. Many people have faced similar challenges and have found ways to heal and thrive. Your feelings are valid, and it's brave of you to acknowledge them and seek help. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this challenging time. With support and persistence, you can gradually rebuild your sense of safety and reclaim your life. You've already shown immense strength by surviving and reaching out for help. That strength will carry you forward as you heal. You are not alone. I know you can do this. 

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Grounding activity

Find a comfortable place to sit. Gently close your eyes and take a couple of deep breaths - in through your nose (count to 3), out through your mouth (count of 3). Now open your eyes and look around you. Name the following out loud:

5 – things you can see (you can look within the room and out of the window)

4 – things you can feel (what is in front of you that you can touch?)

3 – things you can hear

2 – things you can smell

1 – thing you like about yourself.

Take a deep breath to end.

From where you are sitting, look around for things that have a texture or are nice or interesting to look at.

Hold an object in your hand and bring your full focus to it. Look at where shadows fall on parts of it or maybe where there are shapes that form within the object. Feel how heavy or light it is in your hand and what the surface texture feels like under your fingers (This can also be done with a pet if you have one).

Take a deep breath to end.

Ask yourself the following questions and answer them out loud:

1. Where am I?

2. What day of the week is today?

3. What is today’s date?

4. What is the current month?

5. What is the current year?

6. How old am I?

7. What season is it?

Take a deep breath to end.

Put your right hand palm down on your left shoulder. Put your left hand palm down on your right shoulder. Choose a sentence that will strengthen you. For example: “I am powerful.” Say the sentence out loud first and pat your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder.

Alternate the patting. Do ten pats altogether, five on each side, each time repeating your sentences aloud.

Take a deep breath to end.

Cross your arms in front of you and draw them towards your chest. With your right hand, hold your left upper arm. With your left hand, hold your right upper arm. Squeeze gently, and pull your arms inwards. Hold the squeeze for a little while, finding the right amount of squeeze for you in this moment. Hold the tension and release. Then squeeze for a little while again and release. Stay like that for a moment.

Take a deep breath to end.