I previously asked about self-touch during a storytelling game with my sister. I've since apologized and she laughed it off, saying she was willing. However, during a severe OCD episode, I had an intrusive thought or possible memory of my sister trying to change the subject while I continued with the story and self-touch. I don't know if this memory is real or a product of my OCD. I'm afraid to bring it up to my sister in case she repressed it, but I'm also too scared to talk to a therapist because I'm worried about what I might have done. What should I do?

Thanks for following up about this. First, I want to gently acknowledge that OCD is doing exactly what it does best right now...finding a new angle to pull you back into the cycle of doubt, guilt, and rumination. That's important context for everything you're feeling in this moment.

One of the most well-documented features of OCD is its ability to generate intrusive thoughts that feel like memories, or to distort and rewrite actual memories until you can no longer tell the difference. This is especially true during severe episodes. The uncertainty you're feeling (e.g. "I don't know if this is real or OCD") is itself a hallmark of how OCD operates. It thrives in that gray area and wants you to keep searching for certainty you may never find.

Here's what I want you to hear clearly: talking to a therapist, specifically one experienced in OCD is the single most important step you can take right now. A therapist trained in OCD will not judge you. They hear these kinds of fears regularly, and they understand that the terror you feel about being a bad person is the OCD talking, not evidence of who you are. You do not need to have all the answers about this memory before seeking help. In fact, trying to figure it out on your own is likely feeding the cycle.

Reaching out to your sister for reassurance right now, while in an OCD spiral, would likely function as a compulsion rather than a genuine resolution, and it carries the risks you've already identified. A therapist can help you work through this in a way that protects both you and your sister. You deserve that support, and seeking it is not an admission of guilt...it's an act of courage. Thank you for trusting us with this.