I had an incident when I was 11 where I kissed my cousin's child (who was younger than me) on the lips once when we were alone on the stairs. Now that I'm an adult, I feel extremely guilty about this childhood interaction and worry I did something inappropriate or traumatic to them. Could this one kiss be considered child sexual abuse? I want to move past this heavy guilt that haunts me.

Thank you for sharing something that has clearly been weighing on you for a long time. Let me try to provide some information that might help. 

When we look back at childhood behaviors through our adult understanding, it's common to feel guilt or shame about things we did when we were much younger. At 11 years old, children are naturally curious about the world around them and are still developing their understanding of appropriate boundaries, relationships, and social norms. The behavior you described - a single kiss that occurred when you were a child yourself - sounds like an innocent act driven by curiosity, without harmful intent. This seems to fall developmentally within the range of normal childhood behavior and exploration.

It's important to distinguish between harmful sexual abuse and childhood interactions like the one you described. While age difference is a factor to consider, the context matters significantly. This seems to be a one-time incident without coercion or a pattern of behavior. Most child development experts recognize that children may engage in exploratory behaviors that they later understand differently as adults.

The guilt you're experiencing might be because you're now viewing a childhood interaction through an adult lens with adult knowledge about consent and boundaries. This perspective shift is actually a sign of healthy moral development-- you care about whether your actions affected someone else negatively. However, holding onto these feelings for something that happened in childhood, especially when it wasn't meant to be harmful, can be a heavy burden to carry.

Moving forward, try to be kind to yourself and recognize that children, including your younger self, act with limited understanding. Reminding yourself that you didn't intend any wrong and that childhood curiosity is a normal part of development might help ease some of these feelings. Your concern for the potential impact of your actions shows your character now as an adult, but healing may require accepting that your child self was still learning about appropriate behavior.

If this guilt continues to significantly impact your wellbeing, speaking with a trusted person in your life or a therapist who specializes in childhood development could be beneficial. They can help you process these feelings and develop a more compassionate understanding of childhood behaviors. Taking steps to address your feelings is a positive and caring choice for yourself, and you deserve that kindness. Thank you for trusting us with this. We appreciate you.