I experienced sexual roleplaying and jokes with a friend and their older friends (age 15 between the ages of 10-12, mostly online. I felt pressured to participate due to the emotional abuse and fear of losing the friendship. Years later, I struggle with hypersexuality, intrusive thoughts, and CSA themes in my art and writing. Was this child sexual abuse, or am I making false claims?

Thank you for reaching out. Only you can determine if what you experienced was abuse, as you are the expert of your own lived experience. Sexual exploration and experimentation among children close in age is not uncommon, but if the situation involved pressure, emotional manipulation, or significant age differences, it may be a sign that this was indeed abusive behavior. It is understandable to feel distressed or confused, but abuse can certainly happen in the digital space. To learn more about child-on-child sexual abuse, click here.  

If these experiences are causing you distress, such as struggles with hypersexuality, intrusive thoughts, or the prevalence of CSA themes in your creative outputs, it's okay to seek help and support. False claims of abuse are very rare, and your feelings about your experiences are valid.

It's important to remember that what happened was not your fault, regardless of whether you label it as abuse or not. If you feel that these experiences have had a negative impact on your life, it may be helpful to reach out to a therapist specializing in childhood trauma or difficult sexual experiences. They can provide a safe space for you to process your emotions and work towards healing.

Remember, your feelings are valid, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. You are not alone.